It always amazes me how so many guys are afraid of flirting with women. Flirting with a girl should be fun and exciting for both parties involved!
Flirting does require a bit of work and practice but once you have learnt how to flirt properly for your personality you will see your success with women improve astronomically. Here are some beginner tips on how to flirt.
1. Girls love flirting
Women, like men, love attention and being admired. “Flirting” is simply female speak for the male term “pick up”. Girls don’t want to be picked up as this makes them feel objectified whereas the term “flirting” has the connotation of something that is more fun and playful. Flirting is like the way little boys will tease little girls to get their attention. Deep down all women are little girls at heart.
2. Flirt to make HER feel good
Most guys go into flirting with the expectation that they will succeed in getting a girl’s number or securing a date or some other notional measure of success. Try change your mentality. Tell yourself “I am flirting with this girl to make her feel good”. If you approach flirting this way then you will make it more about her and less about you. By doing this she will as if you are interested in her and not just about getting into her pants.
3. Make flirting fun
Do you remember yelling to a girls in the playground the line: “Girls are weak, chuck chuck ’em in the creek. Boys are strong, like King Kong”? The response is that the girl will either chase you round the swings and slippery dips, or at worst, at least talk to you to defend why she is stronger than you and about how much little boys suck. It’s the exact same thing with flirting- it’s just an adult form of play fighting. What little boys do in the playground is the basis of the ‘cocky and funny’ approach to flirting.
4. Start slow and build your confidence
Technology has given us many ways to practice flirting techniques without the need for face-to-face interaction. If you are a shy guy this is a good place to start. Online dating sites, text messaging, instant messaging and chat rooms are all ways that you can hone in your skills on what flirting techniques will work for you. Make sure that you are funny and keep your messages short. It’s better to pepper her with short messages that will brighten her day than a long email that she will never finish reading.
5. Practice, practice, practice
Make every woman you meet (bar your family members!) a person you can practice your flirting skills with. Because you now have the mindset that you are flirting for her benefit you will come across as a guy who is fun to be around rather than a sleaze. Practice your cheeky grin, wink or new line. Gauge their reaction. If a colleague is offended by one of your lines, then chances are that it is best to kick that one out of your flirting game plan.
6. Control the conversation
When you are starting your flirting career it’s important that you get your confidence up. One way of doing this is to make sure that you are the person who ends the conversation. A typical example: you are in the line at the supermarket or ticket counter and you start flirting with a girl. You get your groceries/ tickets paid for and it’s time to move on. Deep down you desperately want to ask for her number. Resist the urge for the first 20 or so times you start flirting with strangers. What you need to do is say something like “It was great meeting you, but I really must get going”. By doing this you have controlled the interaction and this will build your confidence. There is nothing worse than being shut down when you ask for her number or have her walk off without saying anything at all.
So here are a few beginner tips for flirting with women. Look out for my other articles on flirting and dating.